Diary

DAY ONE

Visit by Cardiac Liaison Nurse.

‘Support, thank God’ were the initial words bouncing around inside my head. I have managed to negotiate the first night in my own bed, but have awakened from my ‘no-sleep’ sleep more anxious than yesterday.

Various subjects related to the operation, and after-effects have been discussed, and, (at this time) are helping my mental state.

My wounds, both chest and leg have been inspected and (much needed) reassurance was given to me.

Advice and such reassurances as above give me some confidence, although, at this stage, I am still living on Venus.

A Patient Kept Record was completed today with (importantly) personal details such as, nurse name and telephone number, plus many other useful and confidence instilling contact names.

A list of my medication has also been noted in this booklet.

The nurse spoke and then left me some literature covering do’s and don’t’s plus some general advice. These I will hopefully read when I can think of anything other than the unreality of it all.

DAY

TWO

I DON’T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT

Looks like I’m in what they call ‘denial’ and have been for the past few days.

Nurse came, talked, examined, took blood pressure and all the things which are good for me, but at this time, I couldn’t care less.

I haven’t told anyone this is how I feel, but it looks like someone expected this. My family will obviously know as mood swings are hard to hide. (who helps them through this?)

I answered some questions about stress and anxiety. Scored low on the stress but high on anxiety.

I don’t really believe that as I feel stressed out by it all. Anyway, I go along with the suggestion that I meet with a clinical psychologist at a later date. It appeared to be the thing to do.

All in all though, inside my head feels better for the moment. I’ll just see how it goes.

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