Some thoughts along the way
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Today
is good. Tomorrow
may be good. Yesterday
was not. Today
is not so good. Today
is bad. Tomorrow
will be bad too. At least I think it will. Yesterday
was good though. So why
isn’t it good today? And why
will tomorrow be bad? But it
wont be bad will it? Or will it? Just at this moment, I feel
good. Just at another moment I feel bad. I want to cry and I’m scared, I want
to laugh and take on the world. I cannot see myself getting better. Can I ? Even
though I am at home, I feel this way. And that way. I felt
this way in hospital, but not as much as I do now. I will also feel that way tomorrow,
I think I will. Deep
down, I know I will get better, but I don’t believe it. |
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On a
scale of 1 to 10 I feel a 4. Yesterday
I felt a 9. Tomorrow
I will feel a 2. But, if I had scored tomorrow yesterday, I would have been a
10. My ribs hurt. My collarbone hurts. My back hurts. My scar hurts. My leg hurts. I feel low. I don’t want to walk
anymore. I feel frightened. My leg is swollen. The scar is
weeping. So is my chest scar. I can walk without losing my
breath now. No I cant, not today anyway. I feel good walking today. No I
don’t. Yesterday I did not feel so good walking. I can walk and talk today. I
couldn’t yesterday. I feel down today but felt up yesterday. I have a new lease of life now.
Another chance. Why don’t I believe it? I do believe it. Today. I may not believe it tomorrow. |
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Get a
grip. I cant. Ok I will. I
should. No-one else seems to be
very concerned about it all though, so it must be alright. They’re all professionals so I suppose what they tell me is right. I know
it is. But I
know better than them. At least, I think I do and you
cannot dispute what I think. I think
I will get a grip. No. I
cant. I can. Can
I? |